Friday, 30 October 2009

An Emotional Morning

I am writing this sitting in hubbys office, it has been an emotional morning...I will explain.....

I had the flu last week (apparently swine flu but Doc advised against taking Tamiflu as it makes you very sick) so I sat it out but was very scared about BB getting it. She developed a very runny nose and cough but she coped so well and it didn't even affect her sleep at night. Well this morning was a different story:

-BB wakes at 5am and hubby gets up for the usual morning feed, I then get up at 7:30 and join them downstairs.

-We eat, drink coffee and then put BB down for her usual morning nap..she starts screaming (she hardly ever cries) so I try for a bit longer and then decide to take her back downstairs.

-Hubby goes to work (by this time it's gone 9am) so I give BB her breaskfast of apples & cranberrys mixed. Happily takes it.

-BB plays for a bit and watches an episode of In The Night Garden.

-She starts screaming and crying again and this time it doesn't stop. I try everything from cuddling her (as I know she is tired and needs some sleep), putting her down on her own and I even try her with a bottle so she might nod off, but no luck.

-After 10-15 mins I check her back and neck for a rash (nothing). I take her temp (slightly low at 35.4).

-After 30-40 mins I start to really worry, she is bright red from crying and her nose and eyes are streaming. Also bear in mind BB hardly ever cries, not proper cries anyway so it is really hard to see her this way. I try taking her in the garden and she stops for about 1 minute then starts up again. I continue to try everything from putting her down in her cot, leaving her alone for 2 minutes, shaking toys, putting the hair dryer on. I call hubby (he's on route to a customer going through Leicester) and I call mum (Grams) "I don't know what else to do mum, blub blub, she won't stop crying" mum says "keep calm I'm on my way".

-I take BB into my stock room, I have a door with all my necklaces hanging on it, she stops crying to play with them, I am sooo happy, I stay there for 10 minutes and my back has never hurt so much, she is 19lb now so it is not easy carrying her around for over an hour, especially when she is wriggling and kicking. My phone's ringing downstairs (a concerned hubby wants an update) so I leave the stock room and of course BB starts crying again. I grab phone and head back to my necklaces..this time they don't do the trick and BB doesn't want to know :(

I head outside again, BB wrapped in a blanket, she is so worn out from crying now and I feel so helpless that she is bringing tears to my eyes. I just carry on holding her close and sit on the garden chair. I keep rocking and 'shhhh shhh ing' her and she finally drops off.

I hate 'Sad Hiccups' (you know the noise babies make when they have been crying and fall asleep). Grams arrives and joins us in the garden, I am sooo pleased to see her. She makes a bed on the sofa for BB and we put her down to sleep. Then she makes me a cuppa..aaahhh tea!

BB wakes up about half an hour later but is much happier and smiley again.

So now I am at the office (mum told me to go have a few hours to myself). I just got a text from her saying she is at the park with BB in the pram and she is asleep :)

So there we go a very emotional morning!

When BB had stopped crying and was asleep on me, I sat there for a while holding her thinking how lucky I am to have a beautiful healthy little girl and how hard it must be for parents whose babies are seriously ill. I thank God every day for her, and seeing her so upset this morning broke my heart but I knew she was ok and just stuck in a loop of tiredness, teething and flu. I'm also so lucky to have my mum (I know you'll be reading this at some point) you are always just a phone call away whenever I need you, you are my strength and reassurance.

If I Had My Life To Live Over
by Erma Bombeck
The following was written by the late Erma Bombeck after she found out she had a fatal disease.
If I had my life to live over, I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television - and more while watching life.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."
There would have been more "I love you's".. More "I'm sorrys" ...

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute... look at it and really see it ... live it...and never give it back.
© Erma Bombeck


  1. Hun we've all been there. There are days when Edward wakes up and screams from 6am until 6pm, it's awful cause you convince yourself there's something seriously wrong. I hate those noises they make from crying when they're asleep too, and I hate how you feel useless when you can't get them to stop. Hang on in there hun,they get over it! Chrissy was a horrorbut now she's two we get tantrums but no ear splitting screaming days xxx Thinking of you both xxx

  2. I know how you are feeling. And I hope that Baby Belle gets well soon. xx

  3. thanks guys, she is feeling a lot better now and just waiting for her first tooth to come through, hopefully soon :) xxx