Either I have lost my blogging mojo or I am ready to end this chapter.
I haven't written in a while, my inbox is teeming with PR emails, some of which you may call impressive opportunities. Offers of Christmas Hampers, makeovers in London, a Spa day, a tv commercial and not even the offer to be sent a ton of chocolate is making me muster the energy to reply. I haven't written about Belle's first day at nursery or any other exciting things which have been going on.
I am happy, we've been poorly, but life is good. A new business in the pipeline. Our offer on the new house got accepted. All the family are healthy and Belle is, well she is just adorable and amazes us, making us laugh too much by the things she comes out with. So perhaps I am just ready to move on from this blog?
Something else has been playing on my mind too.
I received a lovely email the other day from a reader. It was heart-warming and she went on to say how she loves my blog but it was these words that made me think "I wish to have your life when I'm older". It has really made me think...
Am I portraying a life which is just not realistic?
I do seem inclined to tell you all the good news, post all my favourite pictures. I have tried to talk about the hard times in parenting, the teething and sleepless nights but the truth is I wouldn't change it for the world, so I don't grumble too much. Perhaps it is subconscious and it, if I am honest, does reflect my personality too. I don't tell the world my problems, I am not one to shout from the rooftops if I am having a stinking day.
So here I am. Worrying I am not fulfilling what I set out to do with this blog. I wanted to help parents with commonplace parenting problems. I wanted to show how rewarding being a mother can be, how utterly out of this world it is to bring a little life into the world, for the daddy too! How it really is the most awe-inspiring thing you will ever do in this life, but it is not easy! I wanted to show how your life can still remain your life though and I wanted to document all Belle's special first's. There are far too many stereotypes surrounding mum's, so I wanted to balance my mummy life with my personal life, however intertwined they may be. In doing this I have attracted an audience of non parents, a growing number of teenage girls and now I am questioning how much I am helping.
Am I actually feeding the very thing I hate? Those images of women in the media which lead to young girls feeling insecure, always trying to live up to an exaggerated or fabricated image? Or perhaps, on the other hand, with all the media images of women could mine be less damaging and actually encourage more girls to aspire to be good parents one day. Or am I simply worrying too much? I don't think so, we all have a responsibility in society to do and be the best we can.
Should I be more candid with my writing, don't only post about the pleasing and exciting stuff? I have written about upsetting things before but because my blog is not anonymous it unfortunately caused more problems then it cured. Perhaps less pictures and images? But then that is the creative side which makes me, me. Finally Belle is her own little person now, she is forming her own opinions, she doesn't just look like every other 'baby' either. Because of this I am starting to feel it is not my right to put her life out here. It doesn't sit quite right with me anymore.
So there we have it, have I just made my mind up about this?