Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Sibling Love and Jealousy

The biggest surprise to me on this journey of being a mummy to more than one has been seeing the love between Belle and Boo.

Belle has amazed me in ways I didn't think possible.  All my anxieties I had before Boo arrived have been smashed.

My heart melts when I see them together, the way Boo looks for her when he hears her voice and how Belle, at just 3 years old, can make him smile.  She has not shown one ounce of jealousy towards him, she runs to him when he cries and talks so softly to him.



I really think the age gap has helped.  Not only because Belle can take herself to the toilet and wash her hands etc (so it is very easy on mummy) but because she completely understands everything and is so proud to be a big sister.  Because of this she hasn't batted an eyelid to the fact Boo is getting a lot of attention.  Family have been fantastic too, bringing gifts for her as well as her brother, which I was so pleased about.  Grams and Papa (her favourite people in the world!!) were also wary of fussing Boo too much in front of her without involving her.  We also included her in the pregnancy from very early on so she wanted him to be here for quite a while.  We had books about being a big sister and talked a LOT about it.

I felt very emotional for the first few weeks, mainly at night when Belle was tucked into bed (mixture of hormones too I am sure!!) worrying all the time that I was 'cooing' over boo too much and Belle would feel left out and upset.  I was very careful not to fuss him too much when she was there, without including her.  I would be talking to him and kissing him and then say 'I think he wants a hug from his big sister' and she would jump to do it and always beam a great big smile at this!  

It's all about involving the first born in the little things you do.  Which I know isn't always easy as you are sleep deprived and worn out at this stage, but now, with boo at 6 weeks old, Belle will just be playing away when people fuss him and it is normal life for her now.  She is her normal content, bubbly little self.

All these little things help, I believe. Or maybe she would have been like she is anyway, who really knows. But I do know that I blooming love these two!  

Truly blessed.




4 comments:

  1. Awww, I'm so glad your two are getting on like a house on fire. I think it's natural to worry about it a little bit, but like you I've been so amazed at how loving and gentle my big boy is with his new sister.
    I think it's all about attitude and they pick up whether to be jealous or not by how the adults behave, so if you are chilled and including them in things then that's how they are: chilled and involved.
    My little man gets out of bed in the morning and the first thing he asks for is his sister. And even though he's only little, he wants to help in whatever ways he can. It totally warms my heart.
    Like you say, blessed! X

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  2. Heartwarming . . . to the moon and back!

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  3. That's so lovely and such adorable pictures!!!
    I can't say I had that experience when my oldest son got his little brother at 2 years old. Lots of jealousy and cheekiness even if we tried to involve him, read a lot about with him beforehand etc, BUT I think it was the small age gap and maybe being a boy, but now they are truly best friends and they are such a little team so it really melts my heart! They are 6 and soon 9 now and we are expecting another little one now soon, but now they really can't wait, I think and hope it will be a different experience this time...x

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  4. There's 5 years between our two boys, and yes seeing the eldest being able to make baby smile and being so proud that he can make baby smile and calm him, just makes me so happy.

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